The Spinster and The Dogs

An elderly spinster who was a dog lover agreed to look after and house her neighbours dog whilst the neighbours went on their holidays.
The only problem was that the spinsters own dog was a bitch that was in ‘heat’ and the neighbours dog was a male. Nevertheless she had a large house and she was able to keep the two dogs apart.
As she lay in her bed drifting off to sleep the spinster was suddenly awakened by awful howling and moaning sounds from downstairs.  She rushed downstairs to find the dogs locked together, as dogs do when
mating. The dogs were in obvious pain howling but unable to disengage.  Try as she might she could not part them and she was perplexed as what to do next.
Though it was late she reluctantly phoned the vet and after a few rings a rather grumpy voice of the vet answered the phone.  The spinster explained the problem.
The vet said, “I want you to take the phone to the dogs and place it down alongside them.  I will then phone your number back and the noise of the telephone ringing should make the male dog lose his erection and be able to withdraw from the bitch.”
“Oh,” said the spinster, “Do you think that will work?”
“Well,” the vet replied, “IT JUST WORKED ON ME !!!!”

The Spinster and The Dogs

An elderly spinster who was a dog lover agreed to look after and house her neighbours dog whilst the neighbours went on their holidays.
The only problem was that the spinsters own dog was a bitch that was in ‘heat’ and the neighbours dog was a male. Nevertheless she had a large house and she was able to keep the two dogs apart.
As she lay in her bed drifting off to sleep the spinster was suddenly awakened by awful howling and moaning sounds from downstairs.  She rushed downstairs to find the dogs locked together, as dogs do when
mating. The dogs were in obvious pain howling but unable to disengage.  Try as she might she could not part them and she was perplexed as what to do next.
Though it was late she reluctantly phoned the vet and after a few rings a rather grumpy voice of the vet answered the phone.  The spinster explained the problem.
The vet said, “I want you to take the phone to the dogs and place it down alongside them.  I will then phone your number back and the noise of the telephone ringing should make the male dog lose his erection and be able to withdraw from the bitch.”
“Oh,” said the spinster, “Do you think that will work?”
“Well,” the vet replied, “IT JUST WORKED ON ME !!!!”

A Hermaphrodite

a woman just gave birth to a baby in a hospital.

as soon as she'd recovered, the doctor came to speak to her:

"your baby is in good health, but there's
something important i need to tell you...'

the woman became worried:

"What's the matter with my baby...
tell me please, what's wrong?"

"There's nothing really wrong but your baby
is a little... different. He's a hermaphrodite."

<< Hermaphrodite???
What is that?>>

"Well..it means your baby is..that he has..
all the equipment of a man and also that of a woman!"

The woman pales:
Oh my God !!
you mean he has a penis and a brain..??

A Hermaphrodite

a woman just gave birth to a baby in a hospital.

as soon as she'd recovered, the doctor came to speak to her:

"your baby is in good health, but there's
something important i need to tell you...'

the woman became worried:

"What's the matter with my baby...
tell me please, what's wrong?"

"There's nothing really wrong but your baby
is a little... different. He's a hermaphrodite."

<< Hermaphrodite???
What is that?>>

"Well..it means your baby is..that he has..
all the equipment of a man and also that of a woman!"

The woman pales:
Oh my God !!
you mean he has a penis and a brain..??

The Loan

A Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
He tells the loan officer that he is going to Taiwan on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.


The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank.


He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.


The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Chinese man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.


The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"


The Chinese man replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks, for only $15.41, and expect it to be there when I return?"


Ah, the mind of the Chinese...

The Loan

A Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
He tells the loan officer that he is going to Taiwan on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.


The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank.


He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.


The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Chinese man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.


The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"


The Chinese man replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks, for only $15.41, and expect it to be there when I return?"


Ah, the mind of the Chinese...

Quotes Of The Day.... Stupid things



 Marshal Ferdinand Foch
(In the year 1911) Airplanes are interesting toys, but they have no military value. 

Gerry Brown
The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others.

Dan Quayle
It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment; it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.

Gib Lewis
I cannot tell you how grateful I am. I am filled with humidity.

Richard Nixon
I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes.

George Bush
I have opinions of my own... strong opinions... but I don't always agree with them.

Wally Hickel
You can't just let nature run wild.

Dan Quayle
What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.